Tour de France 2012 team (and jersey) presentations

Last night the TDF organisers hosted a team presentation evening in Liege.  All the teams were decked out in all their splendour and new riding kit.  Here's a link to some pics of the teams from the PodiumCafe site, and another on the offical TDF site.  The TDF is, without argument, the most famous and most coveted stage race of the race calendar (even if I'm Italian and adore the Giro, I have to face facts!).   ALL the big riders flock to this race, so to win here is to really be at the top of your sport.  Understandably then, teams normally try to splash out on new kit that will bring in goodwill for their sponsors.  So, who "won" this beauty contest, and who.. ahem.. flopped?

I will rate the teams in order of appearance on the Podium Cafe site, and at the end do a little in-depth bit on, in my mind, the winner of this beauty pageant.  Points will be best of 10:

Garmin-Sharp:  -2.  Well, sadly the Garmin squad, after having performed phagocytosis on the Cervelo team in 2011, had a lot to live up to.  Barring the 2010 TDF, the Cervelo kit had been consistently top placed finisher (in my mind!), so there was no way that Jonathan Vaughters Argyle colours were going to measure up.  But THIS CRAP?!? I feel sorry for the new sponsor Sharp, although I might be able to revise this negative 2 up to a 0 because of the choice of red, which used to live on the Cervelo colours along with black and white. However their one red and one blue armband smack of absurt politics, trying to back both sponsors (much like voting for Republicans and Democrats! You morons, you have to choose ONE!!!).  In fact on that note Garmin should consider changing their brand colour from Blue to Red, and then giving Cervelo a more prominent place on the jersey, just to up the points on this beauty pageant scale.. Would increase their own brand awareness as well.  As for Sharp, does this mean you have abbandoned Rapha-Condor?

Saxo-Tinkoff: 7.5  Saxo have never really excited me, but their Giro kit seemed a step in the right direction and now with the Flamboyant Russian money a striking yellow has been added.  However blue and yellow marry very well and combine to make green, so I hope they pick up a green jersey at some stage, although that will be as likely as Madonna starring in a porn flick, however enticing the image may be.  Cycling is about being seen, being stylish and above all being cool, which is a combination of the two.  Saxo-Tinkoff, hat's off to you

Cofidis: 5.5  Their red kit with a white sash is a tad plain, but bold and clean, and jerseys shouldn't have too much unnecessary crap or be a walking patchwork billboard (as we'll see a bit later).  Still they should sort of stand out in the crowd, as long as they don't cycle too close to Katyusha!

Argos-Shimano: 6.5  The Podium makes a big deal about the white shorts, but wake up people.  Not everyone is like Cav and afraid to show off his man-hood.  If you've got it, flaunt it.  This is cycling, this is excess (but with style).  This is Pappagalli showing off their feathers as they square off to fight.  Argos-Shimano probably took a leaf out of Liquigas's kit, so I'll take off a half point for copying, but that is also a form of flattery.  Again, don't ride too close to Liquigas otherwise we may get confused..

Lotto-Belisol: 4 You need a microscope to read the small print, which makes me think that some Lawyer dreampt up this kit.  Also, do spectators tilt their heads sideways when riders fly past so they can better read the advertising?  Or has some wierd Psycological study realised that skew banners promote better brand recognition?  Sadly I think the truth is just that Belgians have no idea of style, and their team celebrates this lack of style perfectly.  And any Beligan cycling fans out there who want to kick my butt will have to stay with me on the climbs.. coz I don't do flats!

Lampre: 6.5  6  I just realised that it's almost exactly the same kit as in the Giro, so less half a point for not showing any effort, but still a gaudy but striking kit, nice clean lines and instantly recogniseable.  Italian advertising may be a bit brash, in your face, and with placards placed smack bang in the middle of a beautiful country-side, but you will never forget it. 

Astana: 4.5  Podium makes a quip about Vino getting better with age.. Well, if we are talking about WINE then I agree, but Vinokurov and his Astana kit are definately getting long in the tooth.  The pale colours will get washed out in the harsh summer light during the TDF, so in terms of recognition 1 point off.  Then there's the fact that the jersey hasn't changed an iota.. Another point off.  Let's leave it at that.. otherwise I'd have to take another off for doping.  still, Vinokurov still gets my vote as a gutsy rider with a specific style and in your face attitude.  Attacca, attacca!!

Katyusha: 4  Boring. Same as last year (almost).  Hope you have better riders than Menchov. And if Phil Liggat mentions once more that Menchie is the "Silent Assassin" I may well have to consider hiring one myself.

Movistar: 7  Ok, they didn't change much since their last race, and the wavy M in lime green is a bit wierd, but truth be told I love this slightly from left field kit that actually looks really good on the bike and notwhithstanding the dark colours gets instant recognition.  Someone was doing their homework when they did this kit, and the subliminal message that these riders are Movie-stars is totally in sync with the whole cool stylish idea that should be behind cycle kits. Just take the pictures before the stage starts and not at the end please..

Liquigas: 8  Yes, I know, you will charge me with favouritism, seeing as I'm Italian and all.  But truly, Liquigas have managed to turn a completely asyncronous bunch of colours into a cohernt whole and through some decent riding (meaning the kit is always on the telly) have, through repetition, made this kit acceptable.  The fact that most of the riders exhude stylishness anyway certainly helps, and the reason why this kit gets an 8 wheras Argos, who've gone copycat only get 6.5.

Omega-Pharma-Quickstep-Q8-S-Inner..:  3  Walking billboards may make sense when your sponsors are misers so you need lots of them, but on cycling kit it looks like sh!t.  Then again.. we're talking Belgium again so same principle applies to the Lotto kit. Although Lotto do marginally better.  Sorry Omega. Although Tony Martin should bring you a consolation prize of a TT stage win.

Radio Shack-Nissan-Trek: 5 Begrudgingly I'm giving them a five, simply because their kit is simple, clean lines and strong basic colours.  They lack the flair of the italians, the imagination of the French, the fastidious detail of the Swiss and the arrogance of the Russians.  But they do have Cancellara, who manages to pull in some Italian-French-Swiss blood combination and makes him look good in the kit.  We'll all be happy when this team folds in 2013 and something better can rise from the ashes, possibly designed by someone who has a bit more taste and style.

BMC: 5.5  I can't give them less than Radio shack, so I won't.  But I never loved the kit and sadly Thor looks terrible in it, which might explain why he's worn it so little lately. No chance ever of winning this competition, Cadel, but try your luck at the yellow jersey, and you'll definately improve the "look" of your team kit!

Orica-Green Edge: 8  I thought their first incarnation was the aborted child of an Australian designer and a sheep.  Thankfully SOMEONE at Greenedge must have italian blood, because the bold statment this jersey makes is that they want the green jersey, the white one and a black one (for last place rider, although in the TDF it's called a Lanterne Rouge.).  And this feat of transformation was done without changing the essential elements of the first version!  Bold indeed, simple, clean lines. Not too much fussy writing.  I might even consider wearing a kit if they were to send me one.

Rabobank: 6  If at first you don't succed, then join Rabobank who know all about trying and trying and trying. Although in the jersey department they are a bit blassé, and haven't tinkered too much, but with a slight boldening of the colours achieve an almost understated elegance coupled with garish orange.  Only the northern Europeans seem to manage these combinations, save for Lampre and Liquigas.  Good luck to them in the consolation prizes, and Luis Sanchez, if you're up one on one against Gens Voight, the oldest cyclist in the game, think about doing an honest head's up sprint instead of stealing the win.  You will look better. And so will he.

Saur-Sojasun: 4  Reminds me of a washing machine advert, and unless they're in the washing machine business, this is not good.  Can't say much else about them sadly..

Sky: 7.5  Simply simple. Simply bold. Great colour combo (except for socks..). Mostly english style sucks.  But on occasion they get it right. And now that Leopard Trek and Garmin have got their own colours and stopped wearing black, the Sky team can relax and concentrate on the consolation prizes.

AG2R to who?!: 3  Looks like a cake with white frosting and hundreds of thousands sprinkled on top.  Who are the sponsors? Cake manufactureres perhaps?!

FDJ: 5.5  They get an above average score for daring to wear white. 

Euskaltel: 5 The Basques amazingly make it to France every year, and although they are thin on results, their orangy kit has stayed a constant appearance in large races. Perhaps due to this I have mellowed on this design, but in truth it is an uncomfortable reminder of the infamous Footon Servetto diareah brown kit a few years back..  I hope they do something better with it in the future.. 



...and the winner is..

Well, I am going to surprise you, because even though I gave more points to Liquigas, I'm declaring Saxo - Tinkoff (or SaxoBank - Tinkoff Bank as they ridiculously want to be referred as) the winners.  How did these two very different sponsors pull this feat off.  Well, audacity. Firstly because being banks, showing up on the same team jersey does seem a bit osé.  Then there is the jarring colour combination, which I personally am quite partial to.  Liquigas has been doing the same thing pretty much for the last few years and although their colour combo is just as osé, it's maybe a little more tired than this new fresh design.  I would have given S-T one more point if they'd done something even cooler such as adding another stylized eagle in the yellow section, mimicing the double eagle of the Russian Empire.. Still they win this beauty pageant.  Not let's see how they do at the tour..