I am livid. LIVID! AND NO, I’M NOT using Microsoft. I’m an Apple user. Supposedly a subset of contented
people, one of the guys in black turtlenecks that drives a Saab or a Volvo
stationwagon, who leaves on a Thursday for a long-weekend and comes back on a
Tuesday morning.. A guy who lives
in a spacious modern apartment with a lapdog and a professional wife who makes
more money than me. And I’m happy because I use Apple and others have no
idea. I have great gadgets which
just work and I get on with my life.
But that all ended today.
You see I recently updated my iPhone 4Gs (admittedly a rather old
model.. as they’re about to release the 6s in September 2015). And I only updated it because of
apple’s insistence. They stick a
great big red marker on your phone and if you don’t want to look like an idiot
you end up clicking it. Sort of like the big sticker on the red button which
reads DO NOT PRESS and which everyone ends up pressing anyway…
And so now I have an unintelligible music
program and NO music. There I was
trying to connect the Bluetooth to the car system and show my son how the music
sounds.. I’m fiddling trying to
find my 60gb worth of music and just miss being hit by the bus that has just
hurtled past. Great one
Apple. All those health apps
eating up space on my phone and it wouldn’t have made much difference to my
health. I chuck the phone on the
dashboard so there’s no more temptation to fiddle and leave the radio tuned
into the horrible sound of 50’s music. Ah, the joys of LM radio.
You see I think Apple has made a
fundamental miscalculation.
Whereas the whole concept of i with a lower case i is that the internet
is pervasive, like ether or air or whatever. We are supposed to breath it in. But the reality is that spotty coverage, high costs (in
Africa, Australia and Italy, the three places I travel to with some regularity)
and intermittent quality mean that we’re better off with our off-line stuff
than trying to download a radio signal. I’m tired of trying to access the supposed 30 minutes free
wireless you get in café’s.. By the time you set it up, IF YOU MANAGE, the
capuccino’s cold! And another thing.. this idea that
phones should have microscopic sim cards that no-one else supports, technology
that doesn’t place nice with other systems except itself (isturbation?) have
turned my apple from a nice shiny white thing to one that seems rotten to the
core. Music I like to manage. I
like to download myself or cut it from my cd collection, not using iTunes. Photos that I want to copy to my
hard-drive and manage in Lightroom.
E-mails that I want on my desktop and not on some cumulonimbus cloud
somewhere. Software that I pay for and own, not rent (ok, that’s more an Adobe
thing). And updates for all my
devices, not only the ones that Apple thinks I should used.. I mean, I still
use my 3Gs, and so does my mother.
A little update of that system wouldn’t hurt sales of the iPhone 6, I’m
pretty sure. I mean Fujifilm with
their eternal updates for even discontinued cameras have shown what sort of
customer loyalty you can generate doing that. To be fair Apple does that, just
not for all models. Oh and Apple,
let me download the updates I want, and not forcefeed me the ones you think I
need. And why the hell do I have to download 10gb worth of files for a Mac,
iPhone x 2, iPads x2. Couldn’t it just be one file? I mean bandwith COSTS! It’s either that or wait till midnight for happy-hour..
and even then the downloads crash because they’re so damn BIG. Remember bloatware.. It seemed that only
Microsoft had that disease.. Well, it looks like Apple is pretty bloated
itself.
Yes, I’m definitely fed up with apple.
Enough to abandon ship? Maybe not
my Mac, still a nice computer that doesn’t crash like my old Microsoft powered
one. Maybe not my iPads- my kids
use them more than me. Certainly my phone, though. My next will not be an iPhone 7. I mean who wants a phone where the company can’t even get
their grammar correct (small i followed by an uppercase.. that should have been
a warning sign!). No I’ll go for
one of these chinese jobbies, with dual sims, and android system and just about
all the same apps I need. And I’m
pretty sure they won’t delete my music on my device!
Apple, you’ve been warned.
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